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Apr
04

Emily Dickinson

Kraig Chambers
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The question “What are Emily Dickinson’s best poems?” was asked and Terran Stryder couldn’t resist responding in this manner:

Answer:
Emily Dickinson spent an incredibly boring childhood spent watching TV all day and all night. At the age of 15 she was traumatized by the cancelation of Punky Brewster and became a recluse in her own home.

Her head was filled constantly with the theme songs of television shows and movies she had seem on TV.

As she wrote her poetry, these songs would influence the stanza length and meter for her work. Her best work appears to have come during the times when the Gilligan’s Island theme some was drifitng through her head. Though, some scholars insist that it wasthe rendition of “The Yellow Rose of Texas” from “Pee Wee’s Big Adventure” that inspired her best work.

No matter which song it was, her best poems are those that can be read or sung to these two songs. The titles of her best poems include:

  • “Because I Would not Stop for Death” about the movie Bill and Ted’s Bogus Jorney
  • “Wild Nights” about the movie Castaway
  • “Hope is a Thing with Feathers” about the “Treehouse of Horror I” Episode of The Simpsons featureing Lisa Simpson Poe’s “The Raven”. (Literary critics are split on the subject of whether Dickinson’s Poem is about her idolization of Lisa or a secret crush on the Bart Simpson Character.) It is here clear that while the Gilliagn’s Island theme song is playing repeatedly in her head, she is still able to assimilate and associate otehr media into her personaal poems. This ability is the sign of a true literary master and is why Dickinson’s work is so well respected today.

    • http://wronganswers.com/detail/index.asp?item=65

    It Wasn't Me
    Apr
    04

    Magic Molly

    Kraig Chambers
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    A voice comes over the PA system. “Due to an earlier incident at 59th Street,” the conductor growls, “Masked men will be entering the train on both sides to collect your personal belongings. Please remain calm. We apologize for the delay.”

    Before the speaker has finished crackling the doors slide open on either side to reveal short, brown-skinned men in lucha libre masks. They are the size and shape of Mesoamericans (hopefully the peace-loving kind) and move with the quiet grace of trained valets. The passengers unload their wallets, journals, day calendars and housekeys.

    When the masked men are finished with their collection, the train’s sliding doors open to let them back out. It dawns on you that 59th Street is a particularly good location for purposes of collection because there is wide clearance on either side of the train, as well as darkness.

    Four minutes go by before anyone moves an inch. When the train starts back up, passengers check their bags and pockets to make sure nothing is left. One woman’s hand closes upon a forgotten housekey, and she nervously withdraws it, bending down and dropping the key on the train floor as she pretends to tie a laceless shoe.

    http://magicmolly.tumblr.com/post/91551610

    It Wasn't Me