I sit here on my love seat that I’ve moved onto my balcony, sipping a virgin caesar and listening to Foo Fighter’s “Razor” on repeat. (Don’t read anything into the song) Staring at the bristling leaves and feeling the cool breeze on this perfect close to a summers day. My feet are right where they should be, resting on the ledge of the balcony, this coupled with my aged and perfected slouch I sit here content. Completely satisfied with how things are at this moment. I am happy. Occasionally these times do arrive. As much as others may not know it, I do in fact enjoy life.

This week I have quite possibly been thinking hourly about quiting. I know myself well enough to know that I am not typically a hasty man and so I won’t be quiting any time soon. I don’t enjoy my job, I don’t enjoy what I do and I definitely don’t enjoy someone telling me that I don’t know how to do my job. This all seems to be occurring more frequently. Which in itself makes work less appealing these days.

All of this aside, I don’t have trouble getting out of bed in the morning. I can recall back when I first did tires that on my way to work I would pause at this stop sign everyday. Every single day I would stop and carefully look left then carefully look right. To my left was the number one hi-way and to my right was the shop. I would have to conscientiously make the decision to turn right. I don’t have that problem at the moment.

Being able to talk to someone, even if just through text, helps. I am grateful for that. I appreciate the e-mails and the encouraging words. There is no guilt or manipulation, just an appropriate response. I am too independent for my own good.

I don’t know what “God” has in store for me.  I’ve stopped looking for reassurance after ever little detail. As much as I am sure we would all appreciate clarity I just don’t know if it is in the cards.

As usual, I am tired.

Kraig

P.S. No apology necessary.